Navigating Grief’s Impact on Your Body

by Greer Raggio, PhD, MPH

Summer 2024

When we think about grief, we often imagine someone coping with the death of a loved one, such as a spouse, parent, child, sibling or close friend. We picture endless tears, sleepless nights, intense yearning and uncertainty about the future. Grieving a loved one is everyone’s ultimate fear, and we do everything in our power to avoid it.

The reality, however, is that grief is unavoidable and takes many forms beyond the loss of a loved one. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), “grief is the anguish experienced after significant loss,” which isn’t always due to death. Grief can come from less-recognized sources such as job loss, divorce, personal health decline, regret over the past and unmet expectations, just to name a few.

Grieving also varies greatly from person to person. One individual may be visibly distressed for weeks or months, while another may appear more “stoic” to the outside world. In short, there is no “standard” way to grieve.

Nonetheless, there are common physical and emotional symptoms that often accompany grief, including changes in weight and eating habits. Weight gain can result from reduced physical activity, eating out more, overeating or eating mindlessly, or neglecting self-care. Those who rely on others to support their weight management efforts, like walking buddies, might feel lost due to social isolation or disruptions in their routine.

Depressed or anxious moods and poor sleep can also affect metabolism, leading to weight gain even without significant behavior change. Weight gain can feel like adding insult to the already unbearable injury of loss, a burden on top of the pain that feels all-consuming. However, with the right support and understanding of your needs, the process of grieving doesn’t have to be so bleak.

Here are some tips if you are coping with a recent loss or anticipating a future one:

• Find your trusted circle and lean in. People who love you often want to help but may not know how. If you need a hug, ask for it. If you need someone to sit with you or listen, request it. If you don’t know what you need, communicate that too. You might find it helpful to appoint a trusted friend or family member to communicate your needs to others.

• Give specific guidelines to those who wish to bring food. Set up, or have your trusted person set up, a website like Meal Train (www.mealtrain.com) for food delivery, with instructions for what you do and do not want. And if you’d rather people not bring food, suggest other ways they can help, like picking up groceries or running errands.

• Choose one healthy behavior and try your best to do it every day. This can be as simple as showering daily or getting out of bed at a certain time. Once you establish this habit, consider adding another.

• Talk to a professional or join a support group. No one else can feel exactly what you feel, but having a space to express your grief can be helpful. Hearing from others who are also recovering from loss can inspire hope.

• Move, even a little. Moving your body can help with digestion, joint pain and other physical discomforts, and often boosts mood. It can also help regulate appetite. Try to move your body in a different setting, like taking a brief walk outdoors.

• Consider a grieving ritual that includes your healthy behavior. If you enjoy gardening,you might write a letter or choose a symbolic object that reminds you of your loss and bury it. Be creative with your rituals.

• Get good sleep. Sleep is crucial for our physical and mental well-being, focus, appetite regulation and management of food cravings. Improving your sleep quality and quantity is a great starting point if you’re unsure of what healthy behavior to work on.

• Know your limits. Your life has changed because of the loss, and you don’t have to pretend otherwise. Instead, adjust your expectations. You may not have the energy to do everything you did before. Simple things like going grocery shopping, working full-time or taking care of your children can become more difficult, and your capacity to handle them may be smaller. Try to accept this reality, ask for help and know that it’s temporary.

• Keep up with your medications and medical appointments. It can be easy to let these things slide while grieving, but you should try to see them as non-negotiable. Taking care of your health is even more important during difficult times. If you need help remembering to fill a prescription, take a pill or schedule an appointment, ask someone for support.

Grief is a process, much like life itself. It is not static. However you experience grief, and whatever the cause, remember this: you will not always feel this way. While a significant loss is not something you just “get over,” the intensity and impact of grief will lessen over time. Life changes — and you change — but you will experience joy again. Asking for and accepting help, being kind to yourself, and focusing on small but important self-care behaviors can make a big difference. There is hope even in the shadows of grief.

About the Author:

Greer Raggio, PhD, MPH, is a private practice clinical health psychologist at Health Psychology Partners in Washington, D.C. Dr. Raggio has years of experience supporting clients with the behavioral and psychological aspects of weight management and disordered eating. She also has expertise in psycho-oncology (cancer) and trauma treatment, and she is a certified ADHD Clinical Services Provider (ADHD-CCSP).

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