Nick’s Story: Growing up Seen, But Not Understood

By Emily Nelson, OAC Communications Coordinator and Rachel Davidson, OAC Program Coordinator

Summer 2026

Nick Hackenburg grew up in a town where everyone knew everyone. With a population of just 8,000 people, there wasn’t much room to blend in, especially as a kid living in a larger body. Since early childhood, he felt the pressure of standing out.

Even under that constant scrutiny, he’s grown to be a bright student attending a career technical high school and an adventurous self-taught cook who prepares meals for his family, with dreams of one day opening his own restaurant. He goes to the gym regularly with an upbeat playlist that may or may not include a few Swiftie songs and lives a life that on the surface looks like any other teenager’s.

But for much of his childhood, especially during middle school, life felt anything but normal. “I never understood why I had been overweight my entire life,” Nick said. When he was just three years old, his mother Jessica noticed Nick was gaining weight more quickly than his older siblings had. As a parent she was concerned, and as a nurse she was perplexed, so she began searching for answers. She advocated constantly, asking doctors for help and trying to understand why her son struggled despite their efforts.

Because of her professional experience, Jessica understood healthcare systems and medical terminology. She knew how to ask questions, how to push for support and how to advocate for her child. 

But even with that knowledge and persistence, she repeatedly encountered the same frustrating responses:

“Eat less.”

“Move more.”

“He’ll grow out of it.”

“Stop buying processed foods.”

Appointment after appointment ended with oversimplified advice and little acknowledgment that even though they were already doing “all the right things,” obesity is a complex, chronic disease. The lack of meaningful answers left Jessica exhausted and Nick increasingly isolated.

The Weight of Bullying

At school, things became even harder. “It was every day, every class,” Nick said of the comments about his body. The teasing and bullying followed him constantly. Some comments were direct and cruel. Others came in the form of looks, whispers or exclusion. Over time, those experiences chipped away at his confidence and sense of belonging.

Like many teens, Nick opted to internalize the abuse rather than bring anyone else into it. For a long time, he didn’t tell his mom how bad things had become. “I didn’t want her to worry,” he explained. Jessica knew her son was struggling, but she couldn’t fully see the depth of what he was experiencing internally. Nick learned to keep moving forward while bottling up the feelings of isolation and self-doubt.

Finding Support but Still Needing Connection

Eventually, counseling helped him begin processing those experiences. Therapy gave him tools to cope with bullying, anxiety and the emotional impact of feeling different for so long. 

Slowly, he began rebuilding pieces of his confidence and understanding that what he experienced was not his fault.

Still, something was missing. He needed understanding. He needed connection. Most of all, he needed to know he wasn’t alone.

During their search for proper care, Jess and Nick found a physician who finally treated obesity like the chronic disease it is. Their new physician, Dr. Cook introduced Jess and Nick to OAC’s Thrive Together program, aiming to provide Nick with some of the emotional support he had been missing for years. This groundbreaking program is designed specifically for teens living with obesity and their families. It creates space for the education, connection and empowerment that both Nick and Jessica had struggled to find close to home. 

For Jessica, it was a great relief. “It felt like there was hope for the first time. Oh my gosh, somebody finally understands,” she said.

When invited to participate in the Your Weight Matters 2025 Convention in Washington, D.C., as part of the Thrive Together program, Nick was slightly hesitant. “I was really nervous to meet new people,” he said. The thought of walking into a room full of strangers felt intimidating. But one idea kept pulling him back. What if there were other teens like him?

“There’s no one around here who’s had the same experience as me,” he said. In his small Ohio town, Nick often felt like the only person carrying these struggles. The possibility of finally meeting people who truly understood was enough for him to take the chance.

The Moment Everything Felt Different

The moment he arrived at the convention, he knew that taking that chance had paid off. For the first time in his life, Nick didn’t feel alone. “My favorite part was making new friends,” he said. “People who understood me — and I understood them.” There was no need to explain years of bullying, shame or frustration. The teens around him already knew all about those kinds of experiences because many of them had lived them too.

“We’d all hang out together: at breakfast, in between sessions, all the time,” Nick said. What stood out most was how natural it all felt. Conversations flowed easily. Friendships formed quickly. The pressure Nick often felt in other social settings was no longer a factor. Far from his small town, he found himself in a space where he could simply exist without judgment.

For Jessica, watching that transformation unfold was emotional. As a parent, she had spent years fighting for answers and support for her son. She had watched him endure so many painful experiences while trying to remain strong. Seeing him connect so naturally with other teens felt like something they had both been searching for all along.

Through educational sessions and conversations at the convention, Nick began learning that obesity is a chronic disease rather than a personal failure. That shift in understanding was profound. “Before this, I had no idea about really anything about my body,” he said.

For years, he had internalized messages that suggested his body size reflected a lack of willpower or discipline. Hearing experts speak openly about the biological, psychological and environmental complexities of obesity helped him rethink years of self-blame.

One speaker, Dr. Robyn Pashby, PhD, especially stood out. As a psychologist, her talks about the emotional toll of weight resonated with him. “It sounded like it was coming from my own mind,” Nick said. For the first time, he heard someone describe thoughts and feelings he had struggled to articulate himself. The experience felt validating in a way he had never encountered before. “It helped me understand how I think about myself and how I carry myself,” he said.

Instead of seeing himself through years of shame and criticism, Nick began developing a more compassionate understanding of his experiences. He started recognizing the resilience it had taken to keep showing up every day despite what he had endured.

Jessica noticed the difference soon after returning home. “His confidence just blows my mind,” she said. The changes weren’t loud or dramatic overnight transformations. They showed up in smaller, more meaningful ways: how he carried himself, how he spoke about himself and how he interacted with others.

“He’s become more comfortable in who he is,” Jessica said. “His emotional intelligence … it’s beyond his years.” After feeling isolated himself, Nick had developed a deep sense of empathy and understanding for others navigating similar struggles.

From Attendee to Ambassador

Attending the convention didn’t “fix” Nick. It didn’t erase the difficult experiences he had endured. What it did was give him community, understanding and a sense of belonging that helped him move forward differently. And now, he wants to help create that same experience for others. This year, Nick is returning to the Your Weight Matters National Convention as a teen ambassador, not just as an attendee.

The teenager who once questioned whether he would fit in is now stepping into a leadership role by welcoming and supporting teens who may feel exactly the way he once did. He understands the fear of being judged, the uncertainty of walking into a new environment and the doubt that things could actually feel different. That’s why his message to other teens is simple and direct: “Have absolutely no doubts,” he said. “It’s going to be the best experience you’ve ever had.”

For Nick, becoming involved in the Thrive Together program became a turning point. He gained perspective about his health and identity. He realized he wasn’t alone. And now as Nick returns to the Your Weight Matters National Convention as an ambassador, he carries with him the same message that changed everything for him: no matter what it’s like in your hometown, you can still be part of a community where you can feel understood, supported and accepted exactly as you are.

To learn more about the Thrive Together program and sign up for the quarterly newsletter, visit ObesityAction.org/ThriveTogether.

 

About the Authors: 

Emily Nelson has nearly 10 years of experience in the nonprofit sector and is a graduate of Brigham Young University–Hawaii. She joined OAC in 2026 as a member of the Marketing and Communications team, where she supports efforts to expand awareness, education and engagement.

Rachel Davidson is the Program Coordinator at OAC, where she helps manage programs, events and initiatives. Inspired by her own experiences, Rachel is passionate about patient advocacy and helping people access the resources and community they need. She earned a bachelor’s degree in Child Development and Family Relations, with a minor in Psychology, from the University of Maine.